My last post was pointless, really. And I regret of that a little. There is so much one could say, that would be edifying to others, yet I lowered to a trivial post. I am not guilt-ridden about it; I have just learned a little since then and I do wish to share. So instead of a short meaningless post, I am hoping for this to be a deeper, more meaningful post. :)
I have so many thoughts on things I was taught just this morning, yet hardly no where to begin.
The Lord, He draws us back to us, doesn’t He? I have the firmest of answers for that: Yes. Yes. And yes again. He never stops drawing us back to Himself. We run and we run, and at sometime we come to realise we become tired of running, and who draws us back, but God alone?
How many times have I tried to keep Him ‘at bay”? Really, how many times have I ran away? Too many. And I will probably do it again. Yet, there He stands, just waiting to take me back into His arms, and set me on His straight and perfect path again.
I was reading in “Kisses from Katie” this morning, in Chapter Two, and so much hit me from it. The Lord spoke something to me, as I was reading how Katie Davis was saying how she has to cry out to Him for the strength just to go on. She could praise and dance for Him in the day, joyously with the children, yet at night she cries out to Him with everything that is in her heart. My Abba whispered to me, “I want that raw emotion, that raw relationship” and He just kept repeating that word “raw”. He wants a truly raw relationship from us. He wants our raw emotion; nothing covered up, nothing hidden. And that means so much. We so often do try to keep God where we want Him, because we are afraid of where He will take us. I admit that I have done this. Multiple times. I was convicted of such this morning. But He brings me back around, back around to Him so I can have that rawest of raw relationship. And what does that exactly mean? What does it mean to have a truly raw relationship? It is to have our emotions so raw and open, to come and cry to Him all the time, with whatever we are feeling and/or experiencing. To stop holding back. He wants me – us – to praise Him when we’re joyful, and cry and shout to Him when we are struggling. To truly and utterly come to Him with our every need; to be raw. I want that raw relationship with raw emotions. I am afraid, but I want that. Fear is only a spirit, and what does He say in His Word? “For I give you not a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” I need to call on His power, strength, love, and sound mind. I need to get rid of this spirit of fear continually. So that I can be raw. So that nothing is hidden from my glorious Creator. No more “keeping my composer” so I appear to be “okay”. When I’m not okay, I must say, “God, I’m not okay. Heal and fix me!” and then allow Him to. We have to be willing. We must be willing to be raw and “vulnerable” because when we are, we are so much more protected. So much more safe. But not by our power; By His.
I want my heart to be His, to be the rawest of raw so He can be more and I can be less. I encourage all to be “more raw” with Him. :)