It’s true. Even if’s possible to go backwards, it isn’t in the way that it is never the same. No matter how much ‘bliss’ is had in the time of going back, once it’s over, and you’re back in the forward mode, it’s harder.
I don’t want to step back. I am very happy being where I am in life, who I know, what I’ve learned. I wouldn’t take that away to go back to being the carefree 10-year-old playing barbie dolls wondering if I’m approved by this person or that.
It’s strange to step back, plain and simple. Yesterday, being in the moment was fine, fun even, but it was like I was in-between worlds – of being who I am now, and who I was then. And there were moments when I was ‘sane’ and thinking “No, I’m not the same as that…” and then, coming home. It was like settling back into normality – or what I call normality.
In explanation, I was over at a friend’s house yesterday. My best friend from when I was 8 – 13. We were still friends after that age, but it was different, and we were both starting to change a bit. Plus we both have completely different life styles. She goes to public school, and lives that life, and I, obviously to you, am homeschooled, and live the simple life, because that’s what I love.
We played the game Life yesterday. How we both play, even shows who we are, I couldn’t help but laugh. Though this time I only had one set of twins. Last time I played that game, I had eight kids, and had to drive two cars :D
It was fun being over there, I won’t lie. But it was memories, and it almost seemed like we were trying to recreate how we were. I couldn’t remember if I was 16 or 10! ;) And nothing really had changed in their house. It was still beautiful. I love their house. It was my second home growing up :)
She would tell me about her friends, and how in-constant they are. I would think to myself how blessed I am for my friends who are constant. Even if they are only through letters and computer!
It just makes me so thankful for where the Lord has brought me. He is good! :)