I am so sorry it never worked out between us. You just aren’t the one for me.
We could’ve worked so well. But I was with Vlad. And he didn’t want me having two different guys at the same time. I’m sorry that made you upset. Can we try again?
Dear Deseased Bob,
Oh dearest Bob in the backseat, how I miss you so. It’s hard to believe that you’ve been gone for so long. You truly were the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.
Thanks for being a good big brother. You better be a good father to my nephew.
Your sister (-in-law)
Dear Deaseased Vlad,
I still don’t understand why Flossie had to kill you too, and right after we were getting so close. I was in love with your American brother, Bob, it is true, but I grew to love you too. Oh if only I had been ready, and was able to sense Flossie’s kill.
Raechel L. K.
Dear Steve from Steve Songs,
Holy crap, dude. Let it go. I liked you once. You chose Ms. Lorrie. She dumped you. You want me back. I said no. For now.
Your much-wanted not-girlfriend,
Dear Anonymous boy (s) who I know’s in love with me, (all of you perhaps)
You’re very kind, really, but my heart lies else where.
Dear boys from surrounding area,
Why? Why do you insist upon talking to me, and then ignoring me? This is becoming a theme in my life, and I’d appreciate it if you at least wouldn’t be so.
Dear Potential Boyfriend, whose name I am not sure how to spell at the moment,
Hi. I hope we can get along just fine. I am kind of tired of being single…