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Simply me.

It is so wonderful to be just ME. Who God created me to be. You should know, first, that lately God has been trying to show me who He made me to be, and how that’s exactly how I should be. I was struggling a little bit with comparing myself to….my older sister. This has actually always been a sort of struggle for me – one lady even came up to me once and sad “You look nice today. I’m sure it’s hard to have a sister that is so drop-dead gorgeous, isn’t it?” I just gave a half smile and walked away, trying to push the comment away, knowing it was just an attack from Satan. But it still got into my heart, and hurt. (don’t worry, I told Mum later, and God gave me His truth. I love Him so.)
So, yes, as you can now see, I would slightly struggle with how I look. Even though I KNOW that it’s my heart that matters. I think God has finally healed me of that though. Or at least mostly. Last night it really sunk it. Monday it all pretty much came out, and Mum prayed with me, God healed me a bit more. Then the next day He healed me a bit more. Wednesday He did a bit more, and last night I saw myself. Praise God! Yesterday morning I had been praying about this specific thing, asking God to please fill me completely. I felt a whole where looks just kept eating away slowly at me. He did. He filled me. And I am whole once again. Haha, the Lord gives me lots of mental pictures, and the one that He gave me a while back always comes to mind at times like these. I turned to the world, and I find no comfort. I finally turn back to Him, and He brings me all the joy I need. I could start crying now, if I let myself. :) My Abba Father is just so good.
Anyway, last night I glanced in the mirror on passing it, and I saw me. Like the real me God created. Rae. No cover-ups. My hair was a mess, my eyes looked tired, but His joy was in me once again.
He created all of us in His image. He doesn’t make mistakes. I am who I am.
“But by the grace of God, I am what I am…” somewhere in…1 or 2 Corinthians I think…

Edit Note: I just wanted to let anyone who’s reading this, know that I don’t struggle with self-esteem issues. I’m perfectly fine with who I am – I’ve never cared what other people thought of me. That’s their own problems. Lately I was just learning how to further my walk with Christ, and seeing myself as He sees me :)

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Author:

I am a 21 year old homeschool graduate who is passionately in love with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I love writing, reading, knife/tomahawk-throwing, and letter-writing, among other things. :)

4 thoughts on “Simply me.

  1. I struggle with self esteem, thanks to some people in my life constantly knocking me down and telling me I wasn’t pretty, wasn’t smart, or just wasn’t good enough in any way…. but I am slowly starting to stop caring what others think. I AM WHO I AM!!! You don’t like it, that’s YOUR problem! ;) *grins*

    Anyways, don’t know a thing about being compared to a big sister. :P Just so you know, I think you are just as pretty as her, only in your own way! :D

  2. I’m SO glad you were able to get through that Raechel! I think everyone goes through things like that somtimes, except some don’t get through it! :( Oh! A good book to read is by Leslie Ludy and it’s called “Authentic Beauty”! :) I loved it!

    Might I ask what you were doing in that lovely picture?

  3. @Bekah *Hugs* I know that feeling. (obviously, due to this post…) How awful Satan is, isn’t he? It’s truly only him that is telling us these lies to purposely knock out how God sees us; which is beautiful beyond compare.
    Good for you! You ARE who you are. And that’s God’s creation. He doesn’t ever make mistakes.
    Aw, thank you Bekah :) I have confidence that I am beautiful from the inside out, because God has told me that truth. And my outward appearance doesn’t matter to me…you’d agree, if ye saw how I dressed most all the time! :)

    @RaeAnne Thank you for your sweet comment, dear Apple! Yes, that’s true. And it’s sad when that happens :( Satan is such an evil foe. I could say that over and over. But Jesus has overcome the world :)
    Yes, I need to read that. I’ve heard from quite a few people that it’s an excellent book! It’s on my list :)

    Haha, this is an older picture, taken back in winter (before Dallas and David were married) We were all at the table, playing with shaving cream, and food colouring. Sooo fun! David had put red food colouring all over my ‘master piece’ (a snow man) as well as on my hands, so it looked like I was bleeding! Good times :)

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